Who's YOUR Daddy??

But i do pay child support woman. What do you want from me kanti??

Those are the painful words a man utters to a woman who bore his first child out of wedlock. Watching Sokhulua and Partners recently got me thinking. Is that the only thing the kids born outside marriage should expect from their respective fathers.

The poignant storyline of this particular episode revolved arround an eleven year old boy who longs for the love of his boilogical father whom he says with his other son on a daily basis. Now the dad "happily" married with two kids and a successful businesman, pretends that the boy in question does not exist.

On his birhthday the 11 year old Mlungisi, when his mother tells him to make a wish and blow out the candles. He says in almost a whisper "I wish that my father would love me!!". The mother's joy quickly turns to saddness because she knows her son's
wish is my never materialise.

That's what got me thinking, paying child support is not taking responsibility of the fact that you fathered a child. Lots of young boys abd girls have to suffer because they respective parents are no longer together. Rightly so, bit does the fall of their relationship suddenly mean that the man forgets he needs to love his child.

It's not fair to the mom to expect her to take on all the kids needs by herself. The writing of a cheque does not erase the child's constant longing to bond with his/her father. To have someone to run to when mommy is angry and wants to give you a good smack. In the case boys, when you reach puberty and u realise that girls are not for teasing only. With girls, they want someone to proctect them from the "wrong" type of guy.

But NO these things are all dumped on the mother becuase she carried the child for nine months. Money is imperative in the growth of any child, but it does not replace the need for a kid to want a father present in their life. Its the small things that matter to children, and simply provideing mom with a cheque does not make up for them.

Back toS&P:

Mlungisi took his father to court, not to get more money out of hime but because he wanted his father's love. Case was dismissed because the constitution does not FORCE people to care for their children.

If you know that you not ready for kids, its simple. DON'T HAVE ANY. If you do, then take care of them, emotionally, physically and financially.

To all the Mlungisi's of the world, its not wrong to want your father's LOVE.